What do you care if I’m happy?

Some time back, as I began to recover from a particularly difficult time in my life, I began getting a remarkable number of comments from my coworkers that they were glad to see that I was ‘back to myself’.

What, I wondered, did that mean exactly? When had I ever stopped being myself? Of course, I hadn’t. What they meant was that they were glad to see me back to my normal happy equilibrium. But I couldn’t help but wonder why they would care or even notice. What impact did it really have on the quality of their lives whether I felt happy or not? 

Then I came across this article on the topic, one well worth a read.

Dave Young writes: “We, the happy, are obligated to remain so. Periodically, we must put on our oxygen mask and wade into the misery pit to help someone find their way out (or help some unhappy customer find some semblance of satisfaction). … the pit is not a place to stay.”

This led me to another thought-provoking article on emotional contagion. In a nutshell, my take-home from the article was this:

“If you want to accomplish something that demands determination and endurance, try to surround yourself with people possessing these qualities. And try to limit the time you spend with people given to pessimism and expressions of futility. Unfortunately, negative emotions exert a more powerful effect in social situations than positive ones, thanks to the phenomena of emotional contagion.” 
—Richard Restak 

and this:

“Anger and resentment are the most contagious of emotions,” according to Stonsy. “If you are near a resentful or angry person, you are more prone to become resentful or angry yourself.”

These are words that were very helpful to me as I struggled to regain my equilibrium all those years ago, and words that I continue to return to again and again.  And I must also remind myself that this goes both ways.  Not only should I be cautious of the emotions to which I subject myself, so too should I be cognizant of the emotions to which I subject others.  Basically a reminder that my moods and attitudes are sure to rub off on those around me. Very powerful knowledge to have.

Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.  

~Crane, George W.